Have I told you lately...that I'm crazy?
No? Well, last year at this exact time, I was in awe of the fact that I was going to be a parent. That THIS month, I was going to have a baby and wow.oh.my.god.
Now? NOW? I cannot believe that my little baby is going to be ONE. As in AN ENTIRE YEAR OLD. As in, NOT A BABY ANYMORE. As in, HE IS GOING TO BE GROWN UP SOON. (Hence, my craziness).
I have to tell you, I have not really been taking it all that well. There have been a lot of tears. And hugs. And kisses. And more tears.
Again with the crying, Mom. Really? Pull it together, woman.
I mean, does he not look super ecstatic to BE the son of a crazy lady?
And, btw, what.the.hell is up with my super-long, alien-like thumb? No wonder he looks like that.
I don't know exactly why I am in such mourning over the fact he is going to be one. This year has been hard. Yes, it's been amazing and I love being a mother, but I make no bones about the fact the process of becoming a parent has been a difficult one for me. I would never say that having a newborn is "fun." There were many WTF am I doing? moments. And sleep deprived breakdowns. And loneliness. And feelings of inadequacies. And just the mindblowing, overwhelming fear of something happening to him.
Because, quite simply, now I cannot comprehend a life without Johnathon. He invades my every waking moment. In a good way. In a fantastic way, actually.
And, you guys, he is so much fun now. And beautiful.
Hi, I am the cutest baby ever.
Craig and I are taking a much, much needed, Craig-and-Vicki, not-Mommy-and-Daddy, trip away next weekend. I am looking forward to it. Because even though this cute little guy has just completely stolen my heart, his lookalike was there first. We need this time together. No, nothing is wrong with our marriage, but after a year of total baby focus, we're finally coming out on the other side and remembering that even mommies and daddies are allowed to have fun, too.
4 comments:
Attawaytogo!
Have a fantastic trip, you will love it! Love your update, and love the super long thumb picture.
Have to admit that in this last picture, he looks a little bit like Matthew! Must be the Sanchez coming out in him! He is so cute! Have a great trip. (Veronica will tell you that I didn't leave Jason with my parents until he was 3 weeks (yes, weeks) old!
Enjoy your get-a-way!
Atta-girl! Have a great trip away with your hubby (cause if anyone EVER deserves a celebratory get-away trip, it's the mother of a 1 year old - cause that first year stinks bad!).
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